Saturday, May 13, 2006

A life that I cannot get back to... 

I miss home. I have been in PA school for eight and a half months now. I went back to Big D just two weeks ago and there are things that I certainly miss. I miss my family and my friends. I miss the non-student life. I miss making money.

I sat around friends that are doing cool things because they have the time and funds. I have friends that are learning to scully, some taking cool classes like painting, and some that are about to embark on to new things in life. When asked what I've been doing...I have nothing to say but that I go to class, study every day, and that is about it. Pretty boring if I must say. I just find it humorous how I just have no life and I sit with friends who do. Quite a paradox. Sure, I can wait until I get out of school and join the fun-filled activity life with being financially set in a job, as my friends say. But what they don't seem to understand is that my life will never be like theirs. I won't have that free time like I used to years ago. There will be even more things that need to be done and my obligations will not be to myself, family, and friends, but to my future patients as well. I just wish I could have taken more advantage of all that free time that I had before. Who knew that I would regret such a thing.

I am not depressed about this. I guess you can say that I am in mourning of a life that I quite enjoyed but could not stay in forever. It's kind of like the board game of LIFE, always going forward but you can't go back. But then, I wouldn't like a life that mimicks the game SORRY, where I may keep having to start over. That couldn't be good either :)

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