Moonshine Muse

I had to put gas into my car today. As a creature of habit, I nearly always go to Exxon on Lemmon Ave., and no matter what the price is I choose super unleaded gas. I don't know why, I just do.

As I wait for my tank to get full, I looked around at the other customers. I noticed a lovely couple sharing a hot drink while waiting at the gas pump. I wonder if they chose super unleaded gas.

As I continue to watch them, my eyes soften, my mouth turns up a bit at the sweet scene, and I acknowledge the seedling of hope that I often feel when I observe all things romantic. I constantly remind myself that though I am and feel cynical and jaded about such moments these days; inside, I still have hope. Yes, I remain independent and single. I choose to be such and experience good and bad days. Even though I am working on forming a new path in my life, I still retain my vision of ideal love. I can't help it, I always choose super unleaded gas.

I remember a part in the book I am currently reading,

"I want to see, real, living, and in the hours of my own days, that glory I create as an illusion. I want it real. I want to know that there is someone, somewhere, who wants it, too. Or else what is the use of seeing it, and working, and burning oneself for an impossible vision? A spirit, too, needs fuel. It can run dry."

I don't think independence will provide me with all the fuel needed. So I wonder how far will my independence take me because I will always choose super unleaded gas.

Do you ever wonder why people think and act in black and white? Such things are never absolute. Yet we constantly want things to be exact and infallible. For some reason, we seem to better accept the extremes because there is no confusing gray areas. However, if I ponder further and think about what I know and what I am taught, I see that grayness is everywhere. A fact is not really absolute, it just has not been validated as false. Religion is a gray area. Mathematicians believe in infinity. Science is based on theories that have not been proven wrong. Even my hair is not the color black, rather it is a very dark brown, so dark that it looks black. I can't help but think that our absolutes are not really absolutes. Absolutes are shades of gray that "looks" black or white. I must also consider that our decisions in life are not definite. They can be 50.0000001% to 99.9999999% one way, or 0.0000001% to 49.9999999% the other way. So if this is the case, why not embrace the gray areas on which we live our lives. What is wrong with gray?

I saw something funny today while I was in the women's restroom. Inside the stall that I was in is a hot pink sign that says, "If you sprinkle while you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie". No doubt it is a common problem in the ladies' restrooms.